The Struggle is Real - and Worth It

This was a post that I started and never found the right words to finish it. I was still processing through a lot of the things that I speak about, and so I didn't exist in a place where I could speak from every conviction of my heart. The Lord has been working on me a lot, and I hope I can now speak a little more clearly about what Jesus has been ministering to me about "struggling" through life.

I love spring.

Everything comes alive, spring break happens, Easter comes and we celebrate the Resurrection openly, and the sun is often out way more than during the winter.


It's been a challenging spring semester, in so many ways. I'm absolutely sick of school, and so confused on everything the future holds, including and especially summer plans. But already I can say it's been worth the struggle.

All those grey days (outdoors and internally), the anxiety and despondency, the struggle to get out of bed - it's all been worth it.

The times of depending on my vitamin D because the sun hasn't been out in days and I'm fighting anxiety and depression have been worth it.

The fights with my roommate that lead to having to learning to understand each other and shower grace, mercy, and love on each other even when that's the last thing on our minds have been worth it.

All the times I've zoned out on campus and almost run into something or tripped because I've been lost in my own little world of anxiety have been worth it.

The fear about the future has been worth it.

Granted, a lot of things haven't changed yet. I still need that vitamin D - especially when the sun isn't shining. I still zone out because I'm too busy thinking. I still have a lot of fear about what the future holds. I'm not fully resolved on what I'm doing this summer, and I have no idea how I'm going to make it through next year and graduate, but for the first time I'm beginning to understand how to walk blindly.

And now, in the summertime, it's still worth it. Facing the fear I've been battling has been worth it, because Jesus has been there every single step of the way. He desires that I will thrive in life, not just survive. He's continued to be faithful through every single little thing that has happened, from me having a clean bill of health, to the ups and downs of anxiety, to the exciting moments of seeing other people fall more in love with Him, to watching myself struggle and yet still somehow, through the grace He lavishes on me, cling on to the promises He gives me. Even when the future overwhelms me, He's still loving and gracious to me.

Simply because He loves me.

Isaiah 46:4
Even to your old age and gray hairs
I an he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.