Wow.
High school was less than kind on me, as is true for...well, basically everyone I know. I've written about my experience with bullying before, and everything that happened there. That was far from being the only thing that I was dealing with during high school. Much like everyone else, there were boy issues, social issues, self-esteem issues...the list goes on.
This post took me all day to write, mostly because I wasn't exactly sure what I would tell myself during high school. I had problems out my ears and definitely needed a lot of advice and counsel, but at the same time...I'm so thankful for the things that I had to learn the hard way.
But I'm going to give it my best shot anyway. So, a trip to 11th grade, here we go.
1. My dear younger Cassian, I remember that time when you were standing in the kitchen, texting a boy, realizing for the first time that guys noticed you - really noticed you, in that way that made you think "maybe...maybe I am pretty after all." You made a decision that night, and a lot of pain stemmed from it. But it's not your fault. You didn't know any better. I've never held it against you, and I never will. If anything, I would just give you a big hug and tell you I love you.
3. Just say no to the drama. Anyone who's going to give continuous drama is worth encouraging and loving (from afar, more likely) because they need love just as much as you, but please don't get wrapped up in the drama portion of everything. It bites.
3. And on that note, just enjoy your life. There's so much to seize and cherish everywhere. Don't worry about doing the things that other people think are fun; play around and find the things that you think are fun. Spending the afternoon at the park reading on a nice fall day? Go for it. The mall is overrated. Seriously.
4. Find somewhere to help out and plug in. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, work with the kids in church, sit as a companion with elderly folks, any number of things. Giving back feels so good. Do it regularly.
5. Cover your underwear. Always cover your underwear. And while I'm at it, wear decent clothes, too. They're not the trendiest thing, but you'll never look back in pictures and cringe. Unless they're 90's clothes. (That was mostly a joke.)
6. Read. By all means, read every book you have the inclination and time for.
7. Get off your phone.
8. Stop bickering with your parents and brother. I know you feel like they don't understand...but it goes both ways. They won't understand until you share your mind - and especially your heart - with them. You're scared to, but just take a plunge. I promise it's worth it.
9. Just because a guy tells you you're special doesn't mean he thinks you are. Yes, there are situations where it's genuine. But guard yourself well. You're still learning who you are just as much as he is. It's not a problem to like someone...but just enjoy being their friend and letting both of you grow. Hey, if it's meant to be, it's going to work out anyway. And for the record, see #9.
9. You are always special, valuable, cherishable, lovable, worth fighting for, even worth dying for. It doesn't matter how many girls put you down, how many guys treat you like you're a stand-in until they find someone they think is prettier/funnier/whatever-er -- none of that is about you. It's about them. And you know why? Because you are special, valuable, cherishable, lovable, worth fighting for, and worth dying for. I know someone who did die for you, and you do too.
10. That man who died for you? Know Him. There's nothing but grace and love, mercy and restoration. All those little pieces of your heart that were so torn apart by an abusive girl and then an abusive guy will one day be mended by Him so well that, while you'll always remember them, you'll realize that you're far more beautiful now than you ever were.
beautiful chicka!
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