I have a friend who's a long-story writer. You know, the type that holes up with tea and her laptop, whose Instagram feed is filled with literary references, whose skills with spinning stories you're quite envious of (maybe the last part is just me, though). Last November she committed to a challenge where she wrote 5,000 words every. single. day. for the whole. month.
So I know what a true writer looks like, and I know that I'm far from that.
But I still love writing in ways unique to me; to express myself, to share my life, even for the sense of adventure at putting my own thoughts out on the interwebs. One of my goals that I never tell people about because I'm afraid of what they'll say (silly reason, but honest) is that I want to write a book. I love reading books from the non-fiction sections of Christian bookstores, and in recent months I've started daydreaming about having my own book on one of those shelves. Maybe writing a book containing all the wild stories my grandparents tell me. But more on that later. Maybe.
The problem with blogging has been that, when my life moves too quickly, I can't just sit down and write it all out. My personal rhythm of processing follows a pattern of running the thought around in my mind for however long it takes to chew and digest mentally, and then needing to talk about it. I need to think, and then speak. What separates me from most internal processors is that last part: I need to talk about it once I've thought about it. Maybe I'm strange, but I have to do both internal and external processing to be completely done thinking about something. So, when life buzzes around me, I don't often have time to do both. I can do all the thinking, but don't have time to sit and speak to someone, or I can have time to speak (or, here, write) but I haven't done enough thinking so everything stays inside my head.
I tell you all of this in an attempt (though perhaps feeble) to explain why I've been absent for 10 months. Which, if you've looked at a calendar recently, is most of 2015.
It's 10/12ths of 2015, which reduces to 5/6ths of 2015. (Sorry to my math-haters.) But no matter how you look at it, "most of 2015" is a VERY long time to be absent, especially since 2015 has seen more changes to my life than any other year - with a few more on their way before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st.
Consistent through all of this is the steady hand of Jesus, steady heart that does not waver, steady Comforter who wraps me in the warmth of safety in the midst of anxiety, explanations to my confused thoughts in the middle of business, and a growing depth of joy and thankfulness.
2015 has been the wildest year of my life, and yet has brought me the most joy personally and the most anchoring in who I am in Jesus and how God has created me. It's seen the most changes in my heart and life, and the most consistency from a gracious and kind Father.
So, I'm sure I've lost some readers by now, but here we go with some tidbits and highlights of the wild rush that was the past 10 months of 2015. For now, the exciting. For later, the challenging.
10 months ago, I got engaged.
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| Right after I said "YES" |
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| One of our amazing engagement shots by Grace Barbettini Photography |
Everyone believes their engagement is the best, and I'm definitely no different. One of my favorite, favorite, FAVORITE things ever is surprises - planning and receiving them. And, somehow, he surprised me three times on January 24th.
5 months ago, I didn't graduate.
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| This hasn't been my personal view just quite yet. |
Last fall I spent most of the semester far sicker than I've ever been, and I dropped hours to stay on top of the hours I kept. When everyone in my major who I've spent so long with walked the stage in May, I didn't get on Facebook for almost a week. Graduation pictures tore at a heart that was weary of school and broken-hearted that finality had been denied. Snapchats from friends during the ceremony left me teary-eyed, watching all the students, each and every one of which I could at least name, if not tell you a small piece or big piece of their life, as they celebrated together. I still don't consider myself close friends with anyone in my department, but they were still friends who I cherished for who they were, and the sting of sitting at home instead of walking was a lot.
5 months ago, my younger brother graduated high school.
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| I'm not sure he's a fan of me fussing over his tassel... |
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| Me and my two faves, being goofs. Also, my brother makes me the shorty for once. |
I'm so proud of this amazing guy. He's such a sweet and genuinely funny guy, and I love him to pieces. It's still hard to believe sometimes that when I went to college he had a mop of long hair and was 5 inches shorter than me, and yet now he's a solid 6'2, has essentially no hair (from cutting it, not from early hair loss), and has a girlfriend.
5 months ago was the last time living with the best roommates a girl could ask for.
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| I mean, can roommates get any more adorable than these two?? |
The past two years together have been ridiculously challenging, and yet, as Kara graduated and summer set in, I was thankful for every single difficult and wonderful detail of it all. Though I stayed in my room (alone, sadly, because Kara graduated - we shared a room) for the next two-ish months, the real "roommate" part of it with all three of us living there consistently wrapped up in early May.
3 months ago, I got married!!
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| Our first look was amazing, and spending personal time together before made the ceremony much more meaningful. |
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| Clearly I was excited to be Nathan's wife! |
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| Absolute joy. |
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| Also, cake. I love cake. Thank you to Jenni O Photography for so many amazing photos! |
I've never bought into the concept that it's the "happiest day of your life" because I think that that's not fair to other amazing things to come, but it will always be in the Top 5, if not Top 3, always be the memories I look back on day-dreamily, always be one of the most joyful days I have ever encountered. I've looked through the set of pictures more times than I remember, and I plan on putting those pictures up everywhere in our apartment. Favorites from the day are hard to choose, because the whole day was beautiful. I loved our first look and getting a few minutes to talk about how we felt and gush about everything and hug and kiss before the seriousness of the ceremony. I loved peeking through the blinds of the room I was in to watch everyone processing as the ceremony started. I love that we couldn't stop laughing. So many people love the crying at weddings - I was laughing gleefully, so happy and joyful. I loved everyone else laughing, too. I loved our first dance, with my bustled skirt twirling each time I was spun. I loved the FOOD. (I'm such a foodie.) I loved that everyone danced and had such a joyful time themselves.
Coming soon: I am graduating! For real. I have applied for graduation and everything, and while I'm so nervous about what's coming next, I am so excited to have this phase of life finished. It's been real, it's been hard, and it's been real hard. I already have my outfit picked out and finally decided how I want to decorate my cap (that's when you know I'm taking something seriously).
Coming soon: Fall is here, and that means that I have adventure tugging on my heart. This is the first week that Texas has been cool enough [in the morning only] to make something of that, so we'll see what happens and what adventures I find.
Here's to 10 upcoming months of consistent writing!
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